I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
