I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
