I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
