I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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