She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
No subtext here. People are naked.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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