Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
