Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
