are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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