And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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