Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
