i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
