So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
