Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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