i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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