So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
