how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
