i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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