is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
