she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
