She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Found your dick twin last night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize