I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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