the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
