K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
