you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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