Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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