she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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