You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize