i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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