It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
