Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
