Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
