hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My liver just broke up with me...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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