My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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