But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
