after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
