Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
