we made out on top of his cat.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
