wanna go halves on a baby?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You smell like stripper and shame
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
