she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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