He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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