it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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