The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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