found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
