so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
