I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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