Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize