Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize