So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
