i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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