How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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