we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
3pm strippers are depressing
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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