Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
