called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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