I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
