god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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