So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
No subtext here. People are naked.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
