could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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