why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
